Some sort of random rant….
Whenever something bad happens to me, I step back and look at how my life has treated me. My 16 year life so far has not been very hard, which I am grateful for. However this also terrifies me. I do not look forward to the days in my future that will bring amounts of suffering that I’ve never experienced before.
I also believe this is somewhat of a ‘jinx’; since I have the mentality that something horrible is going to happen to me, it will. When you go around life paranoid about the bad things that could happen to you, you ignore the potential good things.
Thus, I try to put this ‘paranoia’ aside and make happy memories that I can remember when I’m about to croak. I want to go to sleep each night with a smile on my face and thinking about that day, rather than worrying about what could happen tomorrow.